Real Talk… Reflections… Relationships and Situationships

So when I started this blog, I had all intentions of speaking about my experiences when it comes to relationships, (mainly) situationships and dating experiences.

Being single for almost 9 years certainly gave me enough content to provide you with endless stories.

The good but mainly bad and just damn right ugly situations to be fair.

But recently I’ve realised that all of that stuff is completely irrelevant now?

And even though at the time, each situation on its own was a massive deal for me (its kind of who I am as a person, and I guess I feel things quite deeply anyway) and yeah granted there was a lot of hurt along the way, but there was also a hell of a lot of fun times along the way too.

Looking back, with the knowledge and wisdom I have now, I do think each of these experiences is pretty normal for people to go through, maybe not all in one lifetime but maybe so…. And in my case definitely so… But I don’t know I think I’m just kind of over it…🤷🏼‍♀️

When I reflect on many of the experiences that I’ve been through with my dating life, in hindsight they all seem pretty normal?

Especially for a young girl navigating through her 20’s anyway? 

• We’ve all been in love right?
• We’ve all had our hearts broken right?💔
• Been cheated on?
• Been in toxic relationships🧪
• Fell for the boy next door?
• Had a rebound?
• Went through the mad phase? – if you’ve not done this, me and my anxieties applaud you👏🏼
• Kissed far too many frogs?🐸
• Been stood up?
• Been left in financial difficulty (taken out loans / credit cards for people etc)
• Been taken advantage of
• Been manipulated by narcissists
• Ghosted?👻
• Had the stalkers
• Fell for the wrong guys/girls
• Dated the Bad Boys
• Dated the ‘Player’ type
• Been the cool girl? – P.S its never cool to be this girl.❌
• Fell for your friend with benefits / even had a friend with benefits
• Dated the ‘nice but not for you’ guys
• Had many funny / awful dates stories & also been the awful date.
• Turned up to a date only for your date to be sat with the boy you kissed the night before? (AWKS)🥴

Im sure there’s many more to add to that already extensive list but yeah I’m sure many of you have had these experiences too… some even may add failed marriages, custody battles, holiday romances to this too…. unless of course you managed to skip the character building stage and found your ‘one’ pretty early in life? – or maybe none of this even interests you and your happy being independent and carefree for the best of your life… that is also okay. (And a lot less stress I imagine)

There really is no right way or wrong way to do life, but I’m actually thankful for many of my experiences.

Don’t get me wrong there’s been some pretty tough times over the years with a lot of the above, many nights spent crying yourself to sleep, spending hours and hours on the phone to your best friend trying to make sense of the situations, wondering what’s wrong with you or why it went wrong, having the worst anxiety over these people knowing that they’re probably speaking to / seeing someone else, comparing yourself to the next girl… again this is another list that goes on!!

But again, its all pretty normal stuff believe it or not… Its a part of growing… of living and of learning.

Everyday we are all dealing with our own emotions, situations, and demons in our own brains, and it will often be completely different to what we were dealing with a year ago, and completely different to the next persons.

And okay many peoples experiences may be relatable, but not one person is living the same life as another. 

Its what makes our experiences unique and this thing called life crazy and exciting at times.

ones thing is for sure you learn a lot from each situation.

And okay in my experience it may have taken a good 4/5 repeated attempts at the same situations to actually learn from it but hey we got there in the end!!

So yeah I guess my original purpose now all seems pretty irrelevant.

And yes okay I could sit here and give my advice on every type of male characteristic…

Except maybe the ‘Mr Perfect / Soulmate / Husband Material’ ones…. But hey ill most certainly welcome that type and conclude this with ‘ lived happily ever after 👰🏽‍♀️💒🤵’

But again my point with all of this is that it all feels pretty irrelevant now.

And who am I to give my advice on these people?

These were my experiences, just because that happened to me doesn’t mean its going to happen to you to.

And even if it does, is my advice actually going to be beneficial anyway?

We all ignore red flags, and do what we want to do, yes we may ask for advice but being honest how often do we actually take it?

Its always so much easier from the outside looking in, but when emotionally involved in a situation, 9 times out of 10 you’re not going to listen to anybody, whether knowledgable or not.

You’re going to make your own choices and mistakes and you’ll learn from this anyway.

Its a part of growth, and its actually pretty amazing to see how deal with and get through the bad times.

This is what makes the good times even better.

So yeah, if anybody actually wants to hear the details of my mishaps, experiences with these types of people, life lessons learnt etc please do let me know and I’ll happily speak about this kind of stuff….

And if not….

Well… its been a pleasure 🙂

Thanks for your support 

XxxX 

To maybe be continued 🤪… I’ll let you decide.