So by now a few of you may have read my first blog post about how I’m not quite where society tells us to be in life, and based on feedback I’ve decided to give this thing a real shot and share some truths of my life so far. So thank you if you have read it, and if not I hope you enjoy reading this one.
I’ve been battling with myself over where to start or what direction to take this and then I figured ‘F’ it. My purpose for this blog was to share my Truths so here goes… the Beginning.
I’m not sure about you guys but I feel like I discovered boys from a pretty young age.
It was Valentine’s Day, year 3 (primary school), I went into my school tray (if you didn’t have one of these, did you even go to primary) to find a purple glitter wiggly worm, a multicoloured heart bracelet, a rose and a packet of love hearts, along with a love letter. ‘Will you go out with me?’… So romantic, who could say no to that?… it was the wiggly worm which did it for me 😍(is it just me or do they look a bit like a willy) 🙈
Not one to turn down a present, of course I said yes & this person was now my boyfriend. And I think it lasted a good few weeks (about average for all of my future boyfriends, we really set the tone here Chris! I guess consistency is key after all)
But yeah anyway back to the story… so after Chris, I then went out with his best friend (I know, I know – bad move, but hey I was like 7/8 at the time, leave a girl alone, and ‘Going out’ consisted of spending break times chasing each other around the playground playing tick – the good old days)… They both turned out to be gay 🤷🏼♀️ true story!!… you get where we’re going with this don’t you!…. lovely guys by the way. Now, they knew how to treat a lady!.. Although one of their sisters does like to remind me that it was my fault he turned out gay 🤷🏼♀️… again I’m sorry!! I was the least girliest girl after all!!
The following year i had my first real ‘puppy love’ experience… some would call it a crush.
I’ll never forget the day I went in to school, tired from being at the pictures until after 10pm on a school night with my dad (this made me cool & even cooler that the film we went to watch was a 12 (rating) – I was 9 at the time – Rock and roll lifestyle). Obviously I bragged to my friends that I was sooo tired from going to watch a 12. ‘Can you believe they let me in for a 12?’ (Made up weren’t I)
And then it happened, the cute boy in my class asked about the film… ‘it was the new bond film, The world is not enough, it’s so cool! You should watch it.’… James loved the bond films, James was cool too… He’d watched it! And that’s when the crush happened!! 👩❤️👨 we became friends.
So not long after this James split up with his gf, (I did get a heads up, his best friend told me he was splitting up with her and was going to ask me out – it’s how we did things back in the day) secretly made up & also a bit sad for the other girl, the next day he asked me to ‘go out with him’ (that meant be his girlfriend for anyone who didn’t know – still in yr 4 primary here people, and he did wait a day like a real gentleman after all) of course I said Yes!… OVER THE MOON! My little heart was made up ♥️
So after this, as kids we kind of switched boyfriends and girlfriends a lot between my friendship group. It was kind of a flavour of the week type of arrangement, too many triangles, but my heart at this point always belonged to James. My mum even made me get him a Christmas present one year. I took it into school & then later that evening he knocked on my door with one for me too… I think his mum felt bad for me. 😂 However I cherished that roll on perfume and the lip balm that came with it too. In a green box from boots with a silver bracelet. It was my favourite present!! And after Xmas I wore it every single day for school, forever grateful that the one I ‘loved’ had gifted it to me. Honestly, I wore it like a trophy! 😂
Next we had the school trip to France – I was now going out with one of James’ best friends, and James was with one of my best friends… We were at a street market in France, and the boys decided they’d buy the girls a present. Except rather than each buy for their own girlfriends, they decided they’d buy a present for each others girlfriend (again palpitations here… James wanted to buy the present for me 💃🏼😍😂) so cute, oh so cute!!… and yep soon after, because of this, we were back together again. Young loves dream!
We were real cute at this stage… but then back in the UK, towards the end of the year, during a study session in a classroom full of people watching revise-wise, it all came tumbling down.
We sat there with our hands held under a jacket so no one could see, (our other friends did the same too) the light came on, and the teacher annihilated us!! When I say us, it was just me and James who were caught, took the wrap didn’t we!… The teacher shouted at us in front of the whole class for holding hands & I (being who I am as a person) went beetroot (my face was purple with embarrassment)… So yeah we were caught, told it was naughty and I then cried… Not cool!… I even went to the school later that evening on my bike to apologise to the teacher for holding hands, and promised that I wouldn’t do it again, and that my grades really mattered to me. 🙈😂 I have to laugh now… it was like I was in a nunnery being punished for my sins 😩😂 we were just kids holding hands. 🙈 My boyfriend dumped me after this, he found out I’d rode to the school to apologise… did I tell you i weren’t cool?
Then high school happened. And that was a whole other shit show for me… I’ll save the main details of that era for the next episode 💃🏼 But I may aswel finish off the tales of the puppy love guy in this one…
So that classic thing happened which you see in movies… we got to high school, he was in the cool crowd… I weren’t. We literally had zero interactions from the day we started senior school until the famous ski trip which we went on in year 10. So here it is the final chapter on that episode.
I honestly couldn’t believe I’d made it onto the trip. My parents were really struggling at the time, I remember getting buses with my dad, walking for miles to this ski shop in the middle of nowhere to go and rent out the ski wear. My dad hoping they’d take a cheque (knowing it would bounce)… still hoping I’d get to go on the trip and that he’d somehow figure it out. He knew I desperately wanted to go on the trip. I wish I’d known how badly they really couldn’t afford for me to… yet he made it happen. That part hurts my heart the most. Another thing we’ll touch on in later blogs however for the purpose of this story we’ll get back to the ski trip.
It took us 2 days to get to Italy, we slept on a coach, and took turns swapping seats so we didn’t get bored and had someone new to talk to… I somehow ended up next to James at one point and this would be the first time we’d spoken in years.
We bonded over football, he let me watch Max and Paddy on his portable DVD player, I even had his LFC pillow. Butterflies were a real thing… A few hours later once I’d drained the full battery on his DVD player, (oops) I went in the bag under my seat for a drink. My dad had been to Aldi the night before and packed a load of sweets and drinks. The bag had been rolling around on the floor under my feet, and me opening what I thought was still water, opened the lid on the bottle…. of course, the inevitable happened, (it could only happen to me)… sticky fizzy strawberry flavoured water squirted everywhere!! & I mean everywhere…. All over me… all over James LFC pillow (which he’d now have to sleep with for a week)… and his portable DVD player. I’ve never wanted to disappear so much in my whole life! A part of me actually died inside. There I was completely uncool again!!James didn’t even go mad about it, he was a nice guy really, I just knew that it was back to loserville for me 😞😩
My only other memories from that ski trip were of the boy who broke his leg and the day I landed in a snow plough and stood up to people laughing at me for having 2 circle shaped snow balls dangling from my groin area. (I had a hair attached to my pants – somehow it managed to happen, I still haven’t been able to erase it from memory)… oh and they gave me angel wings to wear that evening at the awards ceremony too for ‘embarrassing moment’ of the trip, just to top it off.
After that trip it was easy to let go of the idea of my first crush… there comes a time in every girls life that you’ve just got to accept the reality, & that sometimes things just aren’t meant to be.
So there you have it – my puppy love story.
I hope you enjoyed the read.
Sharing this has been an experience of its own 🤍
Look out for my next blogpost at http://www.thirtysomethingtruths.com